It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Two words: nipple clamps
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