So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
