Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
