drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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