my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize