is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
