OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
