Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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