Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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