he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
babies were throwing up all over the place
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
