i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
