just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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