R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
