how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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