Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize