Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
