where am i from again
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize