You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
