I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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