yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
