She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
