i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
