i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish i was in the wii world.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
