Umm I'm too high to move.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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