i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
