Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
