We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
