i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
