Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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