New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
