They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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