Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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