I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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