i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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