some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize