dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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