Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
