So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
