I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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