he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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