I have demons in me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
