I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
