This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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