So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
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She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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