She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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