Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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