i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I need a beard to bite.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
