Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
