your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
