He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
