question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
