Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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