Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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