I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
