I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
