there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
