How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize