She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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