Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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