forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
