Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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