You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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