He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
