No stitches, just platelets and will power
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
