Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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