so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
