can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
