I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
